What You Can Do Today To Heal
* You can light a candle.
* You can say a prayer.
* You can imagine your little one enjoying all the love you gave him or her.
* You can put on a sad song and cry.
* You can put on a happy song and laugh.
* You can find your favorite picture of your angel, frame it, and put it someplace special.
* You can stay in bed with the covers over your head and cry (really, it is o.k.)
* You can share your best, most favorite memories with a friend.
* You can go to the pound and give some babies some love.
* You can donate $ in the name of your angel.
* You can make a cup of hot tea and sit quietly.
* You can write a happy letter to your angel. (and send it to me for the book I am publishing of all your wonderful, happy memories
* You can do whatever it is you want. Do not rush your feelings, do not repress your feelings.
* You can be at peace.
How are you feeling today? Sad? Angry? Lost? Helpless? Bitter? Depressed?
Each of these emotions come out in different ways. And each of these emotions heal in different ways.
There are different energy levels associated with each emotion. Balance and middle ground is the goal. With high energy emotions you may wish to meet them with equal energy, then bring them down. Emotions such as anger and bitterness. Withe low energy emotions, sadness, depression, you may wish to meet them with a delicateness, then bring up your energy.
For example, if you are angry, go for a run. Get your energy out of your body. That way you can release it and come back to balance.
With depression, maybe a day in bed with tea and your favorite movie.
Allow yourself to feel your emotions and ‘treat’ them. In this way they get to pass through, which is so much better than harboring them. Honor them, don’t build a home for them.
When your pet dies, you do not know which of these emotions will come up. Or how many of them. But if you address each one with the right counterpoint, it will allow you to work through them.
Hot summer days are great when you are with company, friends, family, pets. But when you are alone, they seem so isolating.
It is so quiet out. And hot. And still. As if no one is around. The middle of the day can seem like the middle of the night.
Alone-ness can beget alone-ness. I think of all whom I have loved who have passed on and out of my life. I think of my angel dog Peekay. I worry that angel dog Marie is getting older and I look with sadness into the future.
Yuck. We all go to this place at times.
Yes. Loneliness can beget loneliness. Commit to being with company today. Sharing this day with others. Allowing them to remove some of your alone-ness.
Physical and mental sadness can go hand in hand. Your heart is sad, and your body follows. If you cry or mourn for your loss, your body may mourn as well. This can come out as sleepiness, feeling too tired to get up, not having the energy to give anything attention.
Sometimes it can help to focus on taking care of the body. It gives you something to do, something to focus on, with the added benefit of feeling better.
Of course, in the summertime, heat is the most difficult thing to overcome.
A few ideas:
*Make sure you always have a fresh glass of something cold and fresh with you.
*Take breaks from work and sit in front of an a.c. or fan for 10-15 minutes.
*Stick your feet in a bucket of cold water to cool the rest of your body from ground up.
*Sleep: wet a sheet and wring it out as much as you can. Use it as your ‘blanket’ and have a fan turned on low.
When we are suffering with emotional pain, the last thing we need is to have physical suffering added onto that. There is no quick fix, there is no ‘stop button’ for the pain and sadness you are feeling, I am not going to pretend there is, as that would be unfair and would not be honoring your feelings as they should be honored. The truth is, you are going to feel what you feel. But the truth also is that you can take steps to allow yourself to feel as good as you can during this difficult time.
Healing the Mind, Spirit, Heart, after the death of a Pet
We forget, or we ignore, the stress that loss puts on us. Our hearts, our minds, and our spirits have taken a hard hit, and there will be a bruise left where that pain struck. We may not be able to see it, but we can definitely feel it.
This bruise needs healing. In the literal sense.
We need to restore our souls back to that good place where it once was. This takes work, a conscious effort. Yes, we do heal on our own, time will greatly help the journey, of course. But sometimes things get hidden, like splinters that have worked their way in and we don’t really realize they are there, we just feel the discomfort. It stays with us, but we don’t quite know why. It is because we don’t always treat a spiritual bruise the same as a physical one. We don’t allow it the physical attention that it could really use.
We will be the healthiest if we take action. After the grief, we need to make time and space for recovery. Rest without guilt. Treat yourself with out asking why. Consciously remove the stress from your body. With massage, with a hot bath, with a day in bed, with ignoring the phone, with a night honoring yourself by lighting candles, closing the door, getting in bed with a good book and some ice cream.
Find whatever allows you a sigh of release.
There are so many ways we need to treat ourselves better and allow ourselves recovery time. There are so many times we choose not to do this because we ‘should’ this and we ‘should’ that. But then that splinter remains. Poking us here and there. Showing up at unexpected moments in our lives. We need to shine a light on what has happened, allow our selves to feel the pain, and then allow ourselves the time we need to heal it. And it will heal. And we can, and should, help ourselves through it. We owe it to ourselves, our loved ones, our other pets.
How to Give a virtual Mama Hug to your Dog or Cat (yes, it can be a Papa Hug!)
Note: this can be done with a pet you have. If your angel is gone, sit down on a chair, close your eyes, and just feel the steps below. It will help…
1.) Make sure/visualize that your dog is in a sitting position.
2.) Squat down and get in real close on either the left or right side.
3.) Fully wrap your arms around your dog.
4.) Make sure your body is in as full contact as possible, as if you are a coat wrapping around them. Feel them in your mind and your heart.
5.) Say “I love you so very, very much”.
Pet Loss, Any Loss, and Your Body
My back hurts. It always hurts in some way, shape or form. Upper back, middle back, or lower back. I tend to just live with it.
But that is not the best thing to do. We need to listen to it. Or any other pain you have in your body.
This is especially important when dealing with loss. As the stress, the sadness, the anger, can all make you feel more pain, which in turn will add to your stress, sadness, anger.
Just stop and listen to your body. Does it ache? Does it feel unusually tired? These issues can all come up when you are dealing with the loss of a beloved companion. Your pet, your fur child, your angel. If you don’t take care of your body, it can increase your suffering needlessly.
I am not telling you to militantly eat only veggies, exercise daily, etc. Still indulge in the ice cream. Still pull the covers over your head if you need to. This is all about getting through the grief, getting through the sadness, getting through.
But please do listen to your body. Stretch it out. Loosen it where you feel it calling out in pain. Give it a treat of walking around the block. And, if you are up to it, give it a full workout. The endorphins released will help you immensely.
For me, it is stretching. I hold all my stress, all my anger or frustration, right between the shoulder blades.
Today I am committing to stretching at least 5 minutes a day to start. To let go of the tension, to reconnect a bit with life.
What can you say yes to?